1 week post op

Well its been 1 week since surgery, sorry I haven't updated sooner but its been crazy here. I spent just about 3 days in the hospital. The first two were painful and full of morphine. I didn't accomplish near what they wanted me to those days.  I didn't get up and walk but maybe twice. I literally slept/passed out the entire days. Come the end of day 2, I said no more morphine and they gave me percocet...much better.  At least now I could eat, or should I say drink, the broth they gave me and some jello.
     I do have to say I have some of the best friends around. Lots of facebook support, a few short visitors. And the even my sister flew in from BC to help my mom with the kids.
     This full fluid diet I'm on now is sooo much better than the all liquid diet before surgery.  Yes I can only eat small amount of smooth, no lumps at all, liquid or purees.  So my food consists of stirred yogurt, Cream of wheat, smoothies, shakes, coffee, soups, puddings and jellos. Yum right?  Hey it's better than the shakes I was confined to for 3 weeks lol.  The hardest part of this is not eating too fast and making sure I get my 62 g of protein in daily.   I have yet to meet that goal, however I get closer every day.
     My incisions are healing nicely, no stitches or staples...yay! They used steristrips to close them up and they have now all come off. My stomach looks pretty rough but once they are completely healed up I'll do what I can to reduce the scarring.
     My pain is getting less and less everyday, barely use the pain killers at all. And even though I feel really good I still get exhausted easily from the inside.  Just have to learn to take it easy and not over do it!
Well that's all i have for today, thx for your continued support and encouragement!

Surgery Day!

   Well it's here, surgery day!! I am up an hour earlier than I wanted to be, but I guess that's better than an hour later than I needed to be lol.   I am anxious, excited, nervous and elated! There is no word to fully describe what I am feeling this morning.  It's almost surreal, maybe once I have the IV in and they are putting the drugs to knock me out will it seem real.
   I am really most scared about the pain after, they say when the gas settles it's painful, ughh.  I don't really want to be all hopped up on morphine all the time, but if that's what it takes I'll do it.
   This is one of the biggest things I have ever done, besides giving birth, and honestly I'm scared.  What if I fail and go back to my old eating habits, what if I gain all the weight back? What if I succeed and people see me differently? What if I succeed and I don't like who I become? What if my spouse doesn't like who I become? There are so many what ifs out there and it's hard not to think of them all at the same time.  I guess I can try to take it one day at a time and deal with things as they are thrown at me, but that's harder than it sounds.
   So many emotions running through me, this post is all over the place, I hope you can keep up haha.  I know I have lots of friends out there to support me, and family is all behind my decision as well.  But somehow sitting here at almost 5am I feel alone in my decision.   Maybe that's because I made the decision, although unconscious, to become almost 300lbs.  And maybe because I made the decision not to do anything about it until I had to take this drastic measure.  Don't get me wrong I am so happy I made the decision for surgery, but it is a drastic one.  One with real potentially dangerous consequences.  One with real commitment involved. That in itself is scary.
   Well a few more photos to post and I'm going to go and relax on my couch for a while before I have to head to the hospital.  Surgery is at 745am, wish me luck!!